The Demise of Firefox
Issue №82 in No Jam Today classic
series
(#445 within all issues)

Transcript
— The market share of our browser is dwindling. More and more people are installing Chrome. — Alrighty! We're turning our browser into a second Chrome! — But why... If we needed a crude Chrome, we would've already downloaded a crude Chrome! — Now I'll need to install a ton of add-ons to restore it all back... — The users continue to customise our browser, disabling the features we forced and adding unaccounted ones. — Alrighty! On the pretext of security concerns, we're prohibiting the use of unsigned add-ons! — Once again, I had to waste loads of worktime to bring Firefox back to how I need it... — Heh, I got my malicious add-on past their verification system. — The users are still installing their add-ons, disabling our checks in all the possible ways. — Alrighty! On the pretext of performance increase, we're replacing the whole engine, ignoring requests from all the undesired developers! — ...I have no words. I will now have to move to the Extended Support Release. — "Extended" doesn't mean "Infinite". It's but delaying the inevitable. — The users are downloading the old ESR-version and installing the old add-ons, dismissing the double new version notification. — Alrighty! On the pretext of resource optimisations, we're deleting all the old add-ons from the database, as well as forcefully upgrading the browsers regardless of their user settings! — It's as if we don't have anything better to do than to backup thousands of old add-ons by ourselves! — The users keep using the ESR even after its support ended and all the old add-ons got deleted. — Alrighty! On the pretext of a bug, we're turning off all their favourite add-ons, and only fixing this "bug" in the new version! — Hey? So, how is it? They have installed the only correct version of our browser this time, haven't they?!
Comments
Paul
I'm delaying the inevitable with WaterFox. It's a shame it still suffers from the intermittent short "not responding" freeze bug, though.
Lishtenbird
Well, WaterFox is essentially just older FireFox, so it's unlikely that can be fixed...